Still feeling like something you'd probably throw out of your refrigerator as too old or no longer useful for consumption.

At the risk of sounding as gross as some of the "poopy" mama bloggers (and you know who they are) , I no longer feel like I have much left to offer that hasn't been blown out in a kleenex or oozed out of my ear onto an ugly t-shirt covering my pillow case.

Quick update, then I'll explain Savion Glover's visit to my blog today. Certainly he is a man "without fear, " so he came dancin' for me today.

Anyway, I am attempting tongue in cheek humor in order to put a "happy" spin on the fact that as soon as I finish this post I must head back to my bed for the sixth day in a row.

Yesterday was a day of no relief from the constant drainage mingled with bouts of pain, nausea, dizziness and all over malaise (don't know why I love that word, but I do.) Bear with me here. You are my only contact with the outside world while everyone is at work and school.

So, what's a girl to do when she's still sick and needs to get better in order to efficiently take care of her family? Go back to the doctor. Yes, I did.

What did he do? Looked in my ear and said, "Boy, that still looks really red in there. I'm not sure why it's still draining so much, but we can give you a stronger antibiotic to see if that will help."

I'm thinkin' . . . well, that might work, but the first one hasn't done much. Where's the prescription?

He says, "We'll give you a shot of Rocephin. The nurse will be in to administer it in a moment."

WHAT!?!?!?! A shot?!!? Mamas don't get shots. Mamas hold their babies and toddlers while they get shots. Mamas cry along with their babies and toddlers and tell them how the shot will keep them from getting sick in the first place and this is for their own good and all that.

I am thinking to myself in the extraordinarily long time it took three minutes to pass that I might just hightail it out of the back door while the nurse is preparing said shot for this mama's bum. Yes, the humiliation dips further.

I had to go to the doctor a second time. I had to have DP drive me because my equilibrium has relegated me to one equal to a .08 BAC (that's blood alcohol content or concentration, for you teetotalers). I had to leave my house and be seen in public looking like death barely warmed over. (what does that really mean anyway? Who wants warmed over death? Ick!!)

Now I also have to bare my bum for a needle for a shot that I can only recall with utter lack of fondness. Libbyline had not one but two of these shots at age five for pneumonia, and she writhed in pain on the examining table as I tried simultaneously to comfort her and wipe the streams of tears from my own cheeks for having agreed to put her through so much pain.

My only consolation in the whole deal was I got to preference the cheek . . . ha! I can't even believe I just wrote that!!

After lying on my right side for days and having my ear pressed to the mattress, there was no way nurse lady was coming at my right side.

So, I modestly revealed the left, and she said what all nurses learn to say in "Stab The Patient 101"

"You're going to feel a little stick." (and in a whisper, "followed by a burning sensation from the depths of Sheol")

I told her that it wasn't as bad as I thought. I wasn't about to tell her it felt like someone had just shot me in the b'hiney with a flaming arrow and that it was now seeping into every cavity of my blood stream.

I just walked it out for the obligatory 15 minutes, got a release and a receipt, and skulked back to our van where my DP was waiting for my bad self. Then I went back to bed . . . again, where I've been until now.

That brings us to Savion's appearance today.

How many days does it take to get hair like his? I've never personally had a real affinity for dread locks. Now don't get me wrong. Savion wears them well. His talented feet make his locks fly and dance right along with him.

However, the mild-mannered homebody/housewife/blogger extraordinaire that I am cannot really carry off Savion Glover's hair do.

Yet, after (collective GASP) four days without washing my hair, I look like that might be the look I'm goin' for -- Ack!

So, after all this, I am headed back to my pillow for more dread lock practice, a world that doesn't look dizzy and distorted when I turn my head too quickly, and for a clean ugly t-shirt on which to ooze.

Catch y'all again soon when I am hopefully reporting some great effects from my bum stick.

On His Never Boring Adventure~
Love Pam

Labels: All about me, funnies, illness

Labels: gratitude, thanks tank

Pam went to the Dr. this morning and has a raging ear infection with a perforation in her ear drum. For most of the day she has been in terrible pain, but the medicine does seem to helping a little bit.

We would certainly appreciate your continued prayers on her behalf.

After several days of Sweetcheeks missing school and new symptoms on the rise, I finally broke down and took her and Libbyline both to the doctor last evening. We went to the local Urgent Care clinic, which is a hotbed of germage that made this mama want to bathe in Germ -X on our way out the door.

I told both girls during our 2 + hour wait that if we weren't sick when we arrived, we certainly would be before we left.

We see the doctor finally. He checks the ailments we've shared and comes up with a diagnosis: Strep throat -- for both girls + a little ear redness for Libbyline. So, we are looking at another day cooped up in the house, missing Bible study for the mama, and struggling with overall feeling crummy.

I just want to run away. Sickness is all around me and has taken up residence inside as well. I am doing a lot better with the spinning and the facial pressure. That is a blessing.

However, AFTER we returned from Urgent Care I began to feel excruciating ear pain, coupled with a sore throat. My right ear is completely stopped up, and while I can't hear out of it at all, I am treated to a giant whooshing sound every time I move my head the slightest.

I've now been up since 1:15 am and can't lay my head down without wanting to scream aloud. This is a sort of pain I've not experienced in a VERY long time. I have a renewed empathy for all those precious little babies who deal with ear infections and can't express clearly the level of pain they suffer. It is BAD!!!

I hate to ask DP to miss part of a day of work, but I don't know that I can make it without some relief from the doctor. Please pray I can get in and out today without consequence and that something will provide me the quick pain relief I must have in order to function and take care of the other two sick people in my house.

Think I'll head out to the kitchen and make myself a cup of something hot since I'm going to be up anyway. I'll be praying for you. Sure beats sitting here feeling sorry for myself.

Labels: illness, pain, pity party

Labels: pity party, randomness, shameless plea

A little late this morning, but Sweetcheeks and I have been hanging out, sharing a box of kleenex, alternating sniffles, playing Webkinz, eating delectable omelettes, and listening to this girlfriend -- one of our favorites -- Jesus, our Lord IS MARVELOUS!!!

Anyway, what week! Yesterday JD Green was also home, and the mama took extraordinary care of him so that he could hurry back to his teacher today. He was feeling a little too good by yesterday afternoon, and coupled with the mama's decline -- the daddy's homecoming could not have come soon enough. JD was eager to return to the land of school today -- tho' leaving his toys behind gave him a moment's pause (at least until I pressed him closer to the exit).

Enough rambling . . . let's get to the fillin' of that tank! Here's how God has filled me up in spite of the fountains of mucous this week:

1. Quiet Moments: Yes, those were found while everyone was engrossed with glazed eyes in front of a movie, but it was demand-free for about 119 minutes . . . woo hoo!

2. Fever: That stopped JD in his tracks Tuesday night for 3 1/2 hours. He lay down after returning from school and never stirred again until 8 pm. Now, I am not glad he was sick, but for him to rest in the middle of the day like that is a huge blessing. He needed the rest and got what he needed. God is good.

3. My New Paint Job: My parents were here last week, and my dad spent last Tuesday painting our room the very shade of blue of my sweater from yesterday's post. I love it and have dubbed it "bluebonnet" blue after one of my absolute favorite flowers.

4. Sweet Stuff: A couple of my recent indulgences = this and this. (Arriba, indeed!)

5. Sweet Fellowship: Had lunch with a dear friend (A) on Tuesday. What a treat in the middle of the week and shoring up of encouragement before the sickness hit with its full force.

6. New Sister: I didn't welcome her into the fold on her mama's blog the other day, so I thought I'd let her know how thrilled I really am right here. Welcome, dear, little sister!!

7. Cherry Limeade: Oh, to live in the place where they make it better than I've ever had it! I love me some Sonic! My precious DP went out special to get me a HUGE one last night, and it tasted fantastic on my scratchy throat.

8. My Man: You knew that was next, didn't you? He is a fabulous man and lives up to that DP each and every day in some way. He indulges my whims and takes such good care of me even when I'm looking more like this than his princess. I sure love you, Honey!

9. My New Washer: I know other mama's who have gotten new ones recently, and they have exuded boundless excitement over a household appliance. I am joining the cheering section! I got one of these last Monday, and I am beside myself with dizzying joy. I am actually ahead of my laundry schedule this week -- and that's after washing sheets and comforters yesterday! You know you are old when you find yourself giddy over a new appliance. I am giddy!

10. My Savior: Once again, He has sustained me. He has extended me grace abundant. He has poured out His extravagant love on me, and I have been able to share that with my family. Praise Him, O praise Him!

Now, you know what to do. Take the button from the top of this post to your site and create your own Thanks Tank, or leave me a list of how God is filling your tank in my comments. Either way, we get to share in the ways God is blessing and filling us up! How cool is that!

Have a Thanks-filled day!

Labels: blessings, God's Word, gratitude, thanks tank

Labels: truth, Wednesday Words, wisdom

Labels: photos, truth, Wordless Wednesday

Update: Shaun Groves has set up a place to leave your Compassion stories and share them with everyone in blogland. Read the stories and/or share your own by going here.

My heart has been touched, squeezed, wrung out, and forever changed over the past several days.

I put that Compassion button over in my sidebar the day Sophie and Shannon headed out to Uganda, and I have prayed diligently from the first moment they shared of their opportunity to go on this life-changing adventure.

My heart has ached and the tears have flowed freely as I have watched, read, prayed, and searched my own mind for the response God has for me. He has done a work that will not soon fade from view.

For several years now I have prayed for another child, a child God has placed on my heart. I know that child will not be born from my womb, and I am pretty sure she will not come from this country.

In His timing, God has not seen fit to allow our family to pursue adoption yet. He hasn't told me "No." He has gently been whispering, "Not yet."

Until then, I must be satisfied with the dreams I have of her and with the hope that one day He will bring her home to rest in my arms. So I thought.

However, on Friday, a new little girl was added to our family in a matter of minutes. We went to the Compassion site and chose to sponsor Juana from Guatemala. She is 5 and was born on my birthday.

Now, I may not shelter this precious one in my own home. I may never actually hold her in my arms like this, but I can be a significant part of her life by the giving of my money, my time, and my prayers to make sure she has every opportunity to grow into the young woman God has created her to be. I can, through my gifts, make a change in her family that will endure through future generations.

If you don't already sponsor a child, I would heartily encourage you to embrace the motto of Compassion and begin the process of "releasing a child from poverty in Jesus' name." All you need to do is click here. Let you heart lead you. God will do the rest.

I know the bloggers are headed home, due to return to US soil today. Yet it is not too late to do something life-changing. Only you know how that looks for you.

I don't know when God will move in the arena of adoption for our family. I do know my heart is still wide open for Him to do whatever He will.

All I can tell you right now is that He soothed my aching mama soul just a little bit when I looked into Juana's face and knew that I could help make a difference for her. God can do the same with you. Go check it out now!

Labels: adoption, beginnings, childhood, compassion, faith, giving

Labels: blessings, lists, love, thanks tank

You'll see a new button in my sidebar today.

It is in honor of what two of my favorite bloggers and a host of others are on their way to do today and this coming week.

Please pray for Shannon and for Sophie as they head to Uganda today with Compassion. They are excited and anxious about what God is going to do through them on this first ever blogging missions trip.

Go to the link in the sidebar or to their sites to read more.


Meanwhile I'm head to pray for each and everyone involved.

Labels: giving, God's will, missions, teachable moments

To be real honest, as I was growing up I never ever worried about report card day.

I was a geek.

I loved school.

I got all A's, just about all the time.

Now I am a mom.

I can't guarantee what my children will do when it comes to regurgitating material for a test or making the right choices in their conduct.

I must admit that these first progress reports after sending my children back into a public school setting had me a bit disconcerted.

No, that wouldn't be quite accurate.

I was fearful.

Fearful of how they would do.
Fearful of what others would think of my homeschooling.
Fearful that they hadn't learned anything with me in the two and a half years at home.
Fearful that I had "messed" up my children for the rest of their educational careers.

God, in His wisdom, had a friend call me last night.

She gently reminded me, and I am paraphrasing here . . . that I am not able to mess up my children. They are cared for and protected by the God of the Universe. How can I possibly have the power to mess them up when He is on board with them every. single. day?

I know I've shared this verse before, but I am reminded of it again this morning as I once again turn my children back over to the Father who loves them more than I could ever hope to love them:



By the way, each progress report was significantly better than I had anticipated.

This is so true:

FEAR = FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL

I plan to go about the rest of my day listening and reading TRUTH rather than being caught up with falsehoods from the father of lies! That's the first step to walking
WITHOUT FEAR.

Labels: childhood, fearless friday, God's Word, truth

Somehow I sit here with the keys feeling like they are sticking under my fingers this morning. Feeling like my desire to be thankful is caught in my throat. I feel beaten up and broken today, and I'm not really even sure why. At least not all of the "why."

We all have weeks when we walk intimately, closely with our Father. Weeks of hearing His voice, feeling His breath upon our cheeks and responding with whispered, sometimes shouted praises.

My week has NOT been one of those. I have grumbled. I have slugged my way through it. Not literally, of course. My fists have not been flailing -- at least not at anyone else but myself. I'm a one-woman wrecking crew when it comes to annihilating my own heart. I need no outside help to bring myself to my figurative knees.

So, rather than continue to effectively pummel myself into submission, I am choosing this very moment to take my eyes off myself and put them where they rightly belong . . . on my Savior, who came to rescue me, at times like this from my own hurtful behaviors.

Here are the ways God is filling my tank, even when I am fighting Him:

He reminds me I am His. (Isaiah 43:1 NIV)
He reminds me He desires me. (John 17:24 NKJV)
He assures me of His everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3 NIV)
He extends His forgiveness . . . again and again. (1 John 1:9 NIV)
He reminds me He is not finished with me. (Philippians 1:6 NIV)
He extends His promises to me. (Hebrews 13:8 NIV)
He carries me. This one gives me hope even after I quit using Loreal to cover them up. (Isaiah 46:4 NIV)
He holds me close. (Psalm 139: 9-10 NIV)
He doesn't condemn me. (Romans 8:1-2 NIV)
He is who He says He is. (Isaiah 43:10 NIV)

So, after this Bible study this morning, I am now ready to face my day with a thankful heart, knowing my God is all around me. His truth will resonate in my heart and carry me through whatever circumstances come my way.

I pray the same for you today, dear one, as you read this.

How is God filling your tank? Let me know in the comments or take the button to your site and make your own list. I'll come visit and share in the blessings and lessons you are learning!

Go now and have a thanks-filled day! I know I will!

Labels: God's Word, gratitude, thanks tank, thanksgiving

Labels: God's Word, truth, Wednesday Words

I love the ocean. I love its majesty. I love that it is ever-changing, yet ever so predictable. The tides rise and fall. The waves crash on the shore and leave it changed. To me, there is no greater example of the presence of God than at the beach.

Peace washes over me when I am in the presence of the ocean.

I've seen the ocean calm and almost placid in nature. Security wraps me in its embrace as my Father calms my soul. I enjoy this time. Yet, this time at the ocean is not necessarily my favorite.

Instead, I've ventured near the ocean in the midst of an oncoming hurricane. Awe-inspiring and wildly engaging, as the hand of God reminds me how small I am in light of His powerful creation. For a moment I could understand those who seek extreme sports in an effort to secure a momentary thrill.

I giggled like a young school girl as the salty spray and whirling sand stung my cheeks and found its way into my open grin. Not real tasty, but certainly unforgettable.

This image is emblazoned in my memory. Should I have been afraid in the face of a near certain disaster that sent many scrambling to batten down the hatches and flee for safety? Surely I should have exercised a bit of caution.

Yet, I am exhilarated, even in recall, as I think of the sheer power our God exudes with the breath of the wind at His command.

Labels: fearless friday, God's Word, ocean