Update: Shaun Groves has set up a place to leave your Compassion stories and share them with everyone in blogland. Read the stories and/or share your own by going here.

My heart has been touched, squeezed, wrung out, and forever changed over the past several days.

I put that Compassion button over in my sidebar the day Sophie and Shannon headed out to Uganda, and I have prayed diligently from the first moment they shared of their opportunity to go on this life-changing adventure.

My heart has ached and the tears have flowed freely as I have watched, read, prayed, and searched my own mind for the response God has for me. He has done a work that will not soon fade from view.

For several years now I have prayed for another child, a child God has placed on my heart. I know that child will not be born from my womb, and I am pretty sure she will not come from this country.

In His timing, God has not seen fit to allow our family to pursue adoption yet. He hasn't told me "No." He has gently been whispering, "Not yet."

Until then, I must be satisfied with the dreams I have of her and with the hope that one day He will bring her home to rest in my arms. So I thought.

However, on Friday, a new little girl was added to our family in a matter of minutes. We went to the Compassion site and chose to sponsor Juana from Guatemala. She is 5 and was born on my birthday.

Now, I may not shelter this precious one in my own home. I may never actually hold her in my arms like this, but I can be a significant part of her life by the giving of my money, my time, and my prayers to make sure she has every opportunity to grow into the young woman God has created her to be. I can, through my gifts, make a change in her family that will endure through future generations.

If you don't already sponsor a child, I would heartily encourage you to embrace the motto of Compassion and begin the process of "releasing a child from poverty in Jesus' name." All you need to do is click here. Let you heart lead you. God will do the rest.

I know the bloggers are headed home, due to return to US soil today. Yet it is not too late to do something life-changing. Only you know how that looks for you.

I don't know when God will move in the arena of adoption for our family. I do know my heart is still wide open for Him to do whatever He will.

All I can tell you right now is that He soothed my aching mama soul just a little bit when I looked into Juana's face and knew that I could help make a difference for her. God can do the same with you. Go check it out now!

Labels: adoption, beginnings, childhood, compassion, faith, giving

To be real honest, as I was growing up I never ever worried about report card day.

I was a geek.

I loved school.

I got all A's, just about all the time.

Now I am a mom.

I can't guarantee what my children will do when it comes to regurgitating material for a test or making the right choices in their conduct.

I must admit that these first progress reports after sending my children back into a public school setting had me a bit disconcerted.

No, that wouldn't be quite accurate.

I was fearful.

Fearful of how they would do.
Fearful of what others would think of my homeschooling.
Fearful that they hadn't learned anything with me in the two and a half years at home.
Fearful that I had "messed" up my children for the rest of their educational careers.

God, in His wisdom, had a friend call me last night.

She gently reminded me, and I am paraphrasing here . . . that I am not able to mess up my children. They are cared for and protected by the God of the Universe. How can I possibly have the power to mess them up when He is on board with them every. single. day?

I know I've shared this verse before, but I am reminded of it again this morning as I once again turn my children back over to the Father who loves them more than I could ever hope to love them:



By the way, each progress report was significantly better than I had anticipated.

This is so true:

FEAR = FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL

I plan to go about the rest of my day listening and reading TRUTH rather than being caught up with falsehoods from the father of lies! That's the first step to walking
WITHOUT FEAR.

Labels: childhood, fearless friday, God's Word, truth

Labels: childhood, fun, photos, Wordless Wednesday

Labels: celebrations, childhood, God's Word, tragedy, tribute, truth

Y'all were so great in sharing my woes regarding my missing flatware. As soon as it warms up I may take Barb's suggestion and look in the back yard, or on "Camp Kid" (the name my children call the hill behind our house).

Until then, I have some other questions I need to ask . . .

• Is it unrealistic to expect that my daughters, who have been back from their Thanksgiving vacation for, oh . . . NINE weeks, should have completely unpacked their luggage?
• Is it unrealistic for me to expect for a book on hamsters that I've been finding all over my house to make its way to a bookshelf or be sold, considering we took all hamsters back to PetSmart several days BEFORE Christmas? (Yes, this is where the "PetSmart" of our story began! We'll not be doing rodents around here again any time soon, ha ha!! Cue the maniacal laughter here)
  
• Is it unrealistic for me to expect that DP will get his clothes into the hamper or his kleenex into the trash can after wearing and using said items? It has been 14 years, y'all!
• Is it unrealistic for me to expect that when it is winter my children will gravitate toward wearing long sleeves and long pants rather than running around in short sleeves and shorts, complaining about how cold it is in our house all the time?
• Is it unrealistic to expect that after 41 years of knowing myself that I still get surprised at the way I react to all the unmet expectations that come my way?

These are my top five. I guess maybe if I run out of questions to ask I'll open up myself for you to ask questions of me. I just keep thinking no one would have any questions of me anyway, so why bother . . . you know how that goes.

What do you find unrealistic expectations in your life?

What happens at your house that causes you to say, "I just can't believe they did /didn't do that?"

Let me know.

Until we figure it all out . . . here is truth to fill in that void of unmet expectations:

Labels: childhood, family, randomness

UPDATE: Well, I just got home a few minutes ago after taking all of my family to their respective schools. The snow turned to rain and school was NOT cancelled.

Sweetcheeks was highly offended that she'd gone to bed looking foolish and still had to go to school today. Oh well, better luck next time . . .

Labels: childhood, fun, snow

Labels: celebrations, childhood, food

Ok. It is finally time. I've been mighty silent these past two weeks or so.

It is time to break the silence and let y'all know what's been going on in my little world.

I didn't wish anybody "Merry Christmas" or "Happy New Year".

{More on my holidays later in another post.}

I didn't really intend to stay away so long when I left. Yet circumstances necessitated the break.


So, with the obligatory greetings out of the way, let's get right down to it.

I've been sitting in front of this screen for almost two hours, well, on and off between loads of laundry and other tasks that beckon me from my all-too-quiet home.

My mind is awhirl with all that has transpired in the last few weeks, and I am also quaking inside from the events of this morning alone.

I managed to put on a brave face for my darlings this morning, yet I was acutely aware of all my feelings as my face crumpled when I returned to the van alone to take DP to work this morning.

So many mixed emotions fill my little heart this day. Yet, I take comfort in the verse above, as well as the knowledge that my Heavenly Father is not surprised by the details of this day or any other I face while I am here on this earth.

• He knew from the beginning of time that I would send my three children back to public school today.
• He knew I would try valiantly to homeschool.
• He knew I would try to obey Him in that venture.
• He knew the obstacles I would face.
• He knew the personalities of my children.
• He knew the demons I would fight to educate my children at home.
• He knew it would stress me out and cause me to fall on my face before Him.
• He knew homeschooling would drive our family to our knees for wisdom.
• He knew I was not cut out to be a homeschooling mom forever.
• He is NOT disappointed in me one iota for driving my children to school today and dropping them off with ladies who have been called to teach and love their chosen careers.
• He is not surprised that my heart is feeling like it is being ripped from my chest.
• He is also not surprised that a small, but ever-growing part of me is relieved that I am no longer wandering around in a forest of unfamiliarity, banging my head against the trees in trying to accomplish a task not suited for me.
• He is not surprised at my weaknesses, and He does not patronize me for them.
  
• He will comfort me and send others to comfort me as well.
• He gets me. This song has touched my heart today.
• He knows where I am headed next. Oh, how glad I am of that!

So, what do I do next? For the first time since Libbyline joined me in our little apartment in Dallas, Texas, I am alone. After 12 + years, I am on my own for almost eight hours every weekday.

I drove home this morning after heading to the local tire place to get one fixed after a flat we got on the way to XL last night. I pulled into the driveway and thought, "I am by myself!?! For hours on end!! What do I do now?"

Now, the possibilities are endless. I think that is what has my mind whirling this morning. I can do tons of things, but yet part of me is so emotionally and physically exhausted from the past couple of years that I long to shove all the opportunities aside for a little bit and catch up on my rest.

Maybe that's ok for a little while.

As the days and weeks unfold, I will be sharing more of our journey and decision to end our homeschooling path. Know that we came to a peaceful realization that this was the right time for all five of us to embark on something new and fresh for the year.

Also, know that I will be sharing the ways God will be filling my time and my tank. I'm so sorry I missed out on a couple of weeks of Thanks Tanks, but I really felt a need to focus on my children wholeheartedly these past two weeks as I said "goodbye" to all we'd known as familiar to us. I have still been reading your blogs over the break and will make more of a concerted effort to comment in the coming days.

So, while I have stepped into a new "river" of sorts as I start this new journey with my family, I am comforted by the promise that "they will not sweep over [me]" Isaiah 43:2

I would truly appreciate your prayers as we make this transition as a family.

Labels: childhood, family, homeschooling, stepping out

I'm not a fan of Halloween so to speak, but I do like a good reason to get dressed up and look like someone other than myself.

Last night we went to Festival 31, an alternative to trick or treating and festival sponsored by our church. I decided this to be the appropriate occasion for me to don something silly and dress up like the kids. Clowning has always held fascination for me, so being a clown comes naturally. Here I am after the festivities last night, in which I could barely stand after pacing the asphalt for 3 + hours:

Labels: carnival, celebrations, childhood

Labels: childhood, fearless friday