Thursday, January 31, 2008
Thursday Thanks Tank #89
My week has been one of ups and downs and lots of introspection.

I'll spare you the details of the thoughts that crash wildly around in my grey matter and get on with the ways God has chosen to fill my tank this week:

How precious it is to find someone who will just take the time to listen when the heart is bruised and in need of solace and understanding. Thanks, Honey!

Cuddles: My Sweetcheeks is not much for this at all, so when she came in yesterday morning from having a nightmare we had an unusual chance to snuggle up close and pray. I love tender moments like those!

I was having a bit of an emotional pity party yesterday, but as I take the time to be grateful on purpose -- how my little piddly sorrows diminish. God has blessed me abundantly, just as He promised in John 10:10.

Creative Cooking: I've always said I am the best cook when my pantry is the emptiest. We've eaten well and enjoyed it this week, all at the expense of a pantry at its most meager right before pay day. Thank you, Lord, for enabling me to cook regularly, even extravagantly without a recipe.

Pay Day: After a loooong month of January, the day of exchange is finally here. We will get to exchange my DP's pay for some paid bills and groceries. I am grateful. We made it!

I see God's glory displayed everywhere I look: from the blustery breezes, to the majestic oak, to the bowed head of a fellow worshipper, to the crying child who needs a forever family. He has made it all. Glory be to Him alone!!

Smiles: Sometimes it can make all the difference in whether I feel welcome somewhere or not. It doesn't take long, and it reaps rewards long after it's finished.

Goals: I am finding I must set these and tell others of them in order to find accountability for myself and all my free time. Goals focus my mind and give purpose to my day.

Uneventful Days: After a really eventful one last Friday that I will one day use in a post, I have been thankful for days in which nothing outstanding occurs.

A Full Heart:
I am utterly grateful for my Jesus who makes this whole post possible. Without Him I am nothing, and this thanks tank is non-existent.

Now it's your turn! Comment on God's goodness here or take the Thanks tank button to your site and make your own list. Either way, I would love to be in on the way God is filling your tank!

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  Pam fearlessly posted at 1/31/2008 09:11:00 AM  
  3 came and visited

Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Wordless Wednesday (Sister Silliness)

Couldn't sisterhood always be this fun?

For other Wordless Wednesday posts go here or here!

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  Pam fearlessly posted at 1/30/2008 09:52:00 AM  
  13 came and visited

She Speaks, She Writes . . . She Wins
I have known about, prayed for, and been involved with Proverbs 31 Ministries for about eight years or so. Our women's ministry had the pleasure of securing a wonderful Proverbs 31 speaker to come and share with our ladies at a retreat when I still had at least one in diapers.

Around that same time, I also had the opportunity to speak to our women's ministry. I was fearful, but I followed God's leading and was truly blessed as I felt Him carrying me through my talk to these sweet women.

I had heard about the She Speaks Conference and knew it would have a profound impact on my ability to share my heart with other women who have walked a similar journey fraught with fear, feeling insignificant, and struggling with the perplexing symptoms of fibromyalgia.

Yet I have ultimately thrilled at seeing God's hand and knowing He has victory prescribed for all of us who believe and trust in Him.

Over the years since I first heard about the conference, I have secretly hoped to attend. I think my fears have kept me from applying in the past, but the financial burden is certainly a consideration as well.

So, I am taking a leap this time. I am leaving my fear behind, claiming my life verse above as a promise, and throwing my proverbial "hat" in the ring! (I guess getting the hat wouldn't be such a leap since I've already got the boots!)

If God wants me there to change my life, and in turn, change the lives of others who may later hear or read my story . . . then I am trusting Him to go before me, place favor over me, and allow me to win the scholarship that is available.

If it isn't His choice for me at this time, I will so look forward to reading and hearing the testimonies of those who do attend and how God has worked in them to spread His message of love to women all over the world!

Either way, it is exciting being in the loop of what God is doing. That's why I'm still here!

So, go check out all the juicy details here:

Proverbs 31 Ministries and Lysa TerKeurst are hosting a scholarship contest to attend this summer's She Speaks Conference in Concord, NC. The conference is June 20-22, 2008, and the scholarship covers the entire cost of the conference, with you needing to provide transportation only.

PLUS, you will get a chance to meet and hear Sophie from Boomama, Melanie from BigMama, and Shannon from Rocks in My Dryer all wax eloquently on all things bloggy!

Go on and check it out! Maybe God has an opportunity for you at this conference! You'll never know unless you step out Without Fear!

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  Pam fearlessly posted at 1/30/2008 08:48:00 AM  
  5 came and visited

Monday, January 28, 2008
Easy Tag + Giveaways Galore

Shannon's at it again. She's got the whole world giving things away, and it's incredible as usual. I'd recommend heading over there as soon as you're done reading the mundane I've shared here.

I haven't been tagged in forever, so I thought I'd play along with Kate today. Here goes:

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages.)
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.

Well, guess what just happened to be the closest book today? Stepping Up . . . by Beth Moore, of course!

Satan is the author of isolation. The more our enemy takes us captive, the further we distance ourselves from healthy people. If we remain in captivity long enough, our circle will get smaller and smaller.

I almost never ever tag anyone, so I think I'll just let you tag yourself if you'd like to join in on this simple meme.

I, however, plan to head on over here to increase my chances of winning something free!

Join in if you would like. I haven't decided if I will give away anything yet or not . . . Have fun!

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  Pam fearlessly posted at 1/28/2008 02:17:00 PM  
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Thursday, January 24, 2008
Thursday Thanks Tank #88

God taught me a new lesson this week.
He cannot begin to fill up my tank unless I am willing to empty myself first.

You know how you have times in your life when God takes His unseen hand and points everything in your life in the same direction so you can't possibly miss His lesson?

I've had one of those weeks.
It has been a week of humility, and with a surreal sound to my voice . . .
I am thankful for it.

Now, let's quickly define humility vs. humiliation:

humility: (according to Easton's 1897 Bible Dictionary)
a prominent Christian grace (Rom. 12:3; 15:17, 18; 1 Cor. 3:5-7; 2 Cor. 3:5; Phil. 4:11-13). It is a state of mind well pleasing to God (1 Pet. 3:4); it preserves the soul in tranquillity (Ps. 69:32, 33), and makes us patient under trials (Job 1:22). Christ has set us an example of humility (Phil. 2:6-8). We should be led thereto by a remembrance of our sins (Lam. 3:39), and by the thought that it is the way to honour (Prov. 16:18), and that the greatest promises are made to the humble (Ps. 147:6; Isa. 57:15; 66:2; 1 Pet. 5:5). It is a "great paradox in Christianity that it makes humility the avenue to glory."

humiliation: (according to WordNet)
state of disgrace or loss of self-respect
strong feelings of embarrassment
an instance in which you are caused to lose your prestige or self-respect
depriving one of self-esteem

I guess the point I am trying to make is there are no similarities between true humility and humiliation. Being humble before the Lord takes nothing away from me. In numerous passages, too many to fathom, our Father in Heaven lists what He will do when we humble ourselves before Him. Following are just two that have touched my heart this week:

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."
James 4:10 (NIV)

"But You, O LORD, are a shield for me,
My glory and the One who lifts up my head."
Psalm 3:3 (NKJV)
I truly emptied myself for what may have been the first time in my Christian walk yesterday, and God met me there on my face in a way I've never experienced. He has promised to lift my head, and I am so grateful to share that He does not disappoint. He fulfills His promises.


Now, for the way He chose to fill me up and lift my head:

1. Worship: Our worship leader had no way of knowing the song he began choir with last night is the very one God has not allowed to leave my brain or my heart all week. What a true blessing to hear those words again.

2. Reverence: I cannot express what time alone hushed in anticipation of His presence has done for my week.

3. Bible Study: The Word is alive, and I am glad it is active in my life.

4. Jesus: My best friend. He is revealing how He wants to truly be my all in all.

5. My family: After reading this and watching this (A Father's Heart) I have been conscious to hug a little longer and love a little deeper. Life is fragile.

That's the top five this week. There are more, but I know you have a life to live too.

So, now it's your turn. How is God filling your tank? Share it here in the comments or take the button to your own site and post your own intentional list of gratitude like these ladies do.

*** I keep forgetting this dear friend who has joined us too!

Have a thanks-filled day!

p.s. don't know why the rest of my post is in italics. couldn't get it fixed in blogger this morning.

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  Pam fearlessly posted at 1/24/2008 07:45:00 AM  
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Wednesday, January 23, 2008
To Honor Bronner is to Honor Jesus

A tragedy occurred Saturday evening in Birmingham, AL. Boomama posted about it here. You can read about the details and come back for my response.

My husband has listened, and back when there was a Turner South, watched these men live their walks with the Lord on the airwaves.

When we heard the news it was as if we were hearing about a personal friend. Now, I know that we were. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we are family. We are personal, because our God is personal and always has been.

Please take the time when you can to hear this message from Bronner's memorial service. You can go here and listen. The link is almost at the bottom of the page.

It will take awhile (about 30 minutes or so), so allow yourself some time to listen to the whole thing. It is a challenge I will not soon forget. Rick Burgess is a grieving father, but the words God gave him to speak are powerful, so powerful. I will forever be changed by the words God allowed him to share with the other grieving people who showed up to honor the life of William Bronner Burgess.

I ask you, as you may have come to visit here for the first time today. Do not let the life of this little boy have been taken in vain!

To honor the life of this precious two-year-old is to honor the presence of Jesus.

God was not wringing His hands in anguish over the death of this little one. He knew the number of the days of this child's life, just as He knows the number of your days.

Rick said so eloquently that the way you could dishonor his family and the life of his precious son would be to leave your experience with this situation unchanged.

I speak often on this blog about living and walking Without Fear.

I would be remiss if I was too afraid to share with you who do not know my Savior, my Father, my best friend, the lover of my soul. He is the reason I get up in the morning. He is the reason I take each step forward.

Also in the new study I am starting by Beth Moore, she shares this:

"If God had already taken us everywhere He intended, we'd be at His glorious feet by now. That you and I are still here drawing terrestrial breaths tells us that God still has appointments for us."

My given appointment today is to let you know that there is only one way out of the lost place you find yourself. There is one way to know that if the number of your days runs out, you can be assured of going to the same place Bronner Burgess is this very moment. One way.

Our Father says it plainly here:

"Thomas said to Him, 'Lord, we do not know where You are going, and how can we know the way?'
Jesus said to him, 'I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." John 14:5, 6 (NKJV)

Now, if you've never made a decision to accept the free gift Jesus offers, you can do that right now.

This is a good place to get started in knowing how to come to a place of peace with God. I will be praying for the eyes that see this post and the ears that listen to the words God chose to speak through the tragedy and loss of Bronner Burgess will make a difference for His kingdom forever.

That is the reason I am still here. Thank you for meeting here with me today.

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  Pam fearlessly posted at 1/23/2008 01:58:00 PM  
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Wednesday Words

From the new study I just started,
Stepping Up: A Journey Through the Psalms of Ascent, by Beth Moore

"In my distress I cried unto the LORD, and He heard me."
Psalm 120:1 (KJV)

I am already loving this study, and here is one comment Beth made that struck me in the first reading:

"Humility is the natural posture of anyone who grasps the greatness of God."

May I live this truth. Today. Always.

Go see Jane Anne for other words for Wednesday.

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  Pam fearlessly posted at 1/23/2008 12:42:00 PM  
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Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Still . . .
Found this at Antique Mommy awhile back, and it fits the bill for today . . .

Still amazed: that Jesus would die for a wretch like me.

Still getting used to: the new freedom of being in my 40's. That used to sound so old! Now it sounds like just gettin' started.

Still loving: my DP after 14 short years together.

Still proud of: having three children sans epidurals and pain meds. No need to share the details of hating needles more than pain itself, now do I? (Oh, guess I just did!)

Still not proud of: lies I've told to somehow make my life less complicated. Never really worked anyway, and I've spent many years confessing and asking forgiveness.

Still hoping: to be involved in the cause of adoption, either personally or helping others to adopt.

Still worried: about way too much of everything.

Still never going to: wear a tube top or eat anchovies on purpose.

Still pretending: that I'll get "discovered" someday.

Still reading: just about anything I can get into my hands. Must have bathroom reading! Currently reading this.

Still wanting to read: more than this list can contain.

Still interested in: blogging, (though I've not given it much time lately) floral arranging, painting, scrapbooking, singing, and shelling (Sanibel is definitely calling my name.)

Still not interested in: celebrities in general and all their sad escapades that make the news.

Still looking forward to: riding horses with my husband someday while wearing my favorite red boots.

Still not looking forward to: putting my feet in "those kind" of stirrups. (a yearly event, unfortunately)

Still failing: to leave it all in God's very capable hands.

Still grateful for: every single day of life and those who share it with me.

Still praying: for a little dark-eyed girl who may someday join our family.

Still not believing in: the image our media wants us to believe women should carry.

Still believing in: Jesus and being created in His image alone.

What are YOU still doing?

* * *

Be still and know that I am God ~ Psalm 46:10

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  Pam fearlessly posted at 1/22/2008 12:17:00 PM  
  3 came and visited

Monday, January 21, 2008
Unrealistic Expectations?

Y'all were so great in sharing my woes regarding my missing flatware. As soon as it warms up I may take Barb's suggestion and look in the back yard, or on "Camp Kid" (the name my children call the hill behind our house).

Until then, I have some other questions I need to ask . . .
These are my top five. I guess maybe if I run out of questions to ask I'll open up myself for you to ask questions of me. I just keep thinking no one would have any questions of me anyway, so why bother . . . you know how that goes.

What do you find unrealistic expectations in your life?

What happens at your house that causes you to say, "I just can't believe they did /didn't do that?"

Let me know.

Until we figure it all out . . . here is truth to fill in that void of unmet expectations:

" My comfort in my suffering is this:
Your promise preserves my life."
Psalm 119:50

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  Pam fearlessly posted at 1/21/2008 05:22:00 PM  
  5 came and visited

Friday, January 18, 2008
Where Do They All Go?

When I got married I registered for flatware. DP and I were in agreement on the pattern, so we chose this.

Though it was interesting/odd to me that people would actually buy one piece of the flatware as a gift, I was thrilled that once it was all said and done we had a full service for eight, including the iced tea spoons (a must if you are going to live in the South). I even bought an extra four spoons at the Oneida outlet.

In addition to the Louisiana, we also received another boxed set of flatware. It had four place settings + an extra eight spoons.

Now, I am not good at math, but I can do simple addition. I started out with 24, count them, 24 teaspoons.

Today as I was about to sit down to my bowl of Fruity Cheerios with vanilla soy milk, I almost had to eat with one of these, because I could not find one clean teaspoon . . . and that would never do, not at all!

So, I'm wondering, am I the only woman around who has disappearing items from her home? Where do the spoons go? Or the socks? Or the mittens? Or . . . You fill in the blank.

I'm going to look under JD's bed. Last time I checked under there, I found an empty jar of strawberry jam . . . and . . . you guessed it, one of my teaspoons.

Have a great weekend, y'all!

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  Pam fearlessly posted at 1/18/2008 01:50:00 PM  
  15 came and visited

Thursday, January 17, 2008
Thursday Thanks Tank #87

Hard to fathom that it is Thursday already. The week has sped by on winged feet, it seems. I've been learning lots about myself, lots about my children, and lots about this school system to which I've entrusted my precious ones. God has not left me in the midst of any of it, so here are the ways He is choosing to fill my tank this week:

1. Auntie Pam: Yes, I became an aunt for the second time this week. My brother and his wife had a baby girl Tuesday in Ohio. She was 8lbs. 9 oz. and 19 1/2" long. She is doing quite well and will get to go home tomorrow when her mama is released due to a C-section. Her big brother is four, and he is completely enamored by his new baby sister.

2. Ear muffs: I got a pair of these for Christmas in '06, but I've only worn them twice. Last night, with all the cold and snow, I broke them out and donned them for the third time. Toasty, I tell you!

3. Lunch: I know it seems mundane, but not so when I had lunch at school for the very first time with JD Green. He had come under some heat for playing during lunch the day before, so we had to sit at a table all by ourselves. My heart went out to him as he passed by all his classmates and dutifully headed for the lone table facing the wall. Another little boy got sent over there while we were dining. After asking me tons of questions, he said wistfully, "My mama has never come to eat lunch with me. JD is really lucky." No, baby, I am the one who is blessed. every. single. day. So glad this boy is mine.

4. Exercising: It is making a difference, y'all! I know that sounds silly, but after finding myself sinking into that all-too-familiar black hole again, I am thrilled to report not only a change of shape from the sweating I'm doing . . . but also a change of mood. I can think more clearly and my attitude is better, too. Multiple benefits -- Woo hoo!!! Tony is the man!

5. Books: I've been to the library three times now since the kids went back to school, and I am having a blast. I picked up Ted Dekker's Heaven's Wager and finished it in three days. (I could have finished it quicker if I hadn't fallen asleep two different nights while reading, but I attribute that to my time with Tony during the day.) I love reading, and I am thrilled to have the time to soak in some good books right now. I picked up this one yesterday and plan to start it today or tomorrow.

6. Bible Study: I am beginning a study with Beth Moore next Tuesday. Yes, I wish I were headed to Houston every Tuesday to do Breaking Free with her group at her church, but I am going to be learning and fellowshipping with some lovely ladies from my own church.

We are doing Stepping Up: A Journey Through the Psalms of Ascent, and I am SO excited. I've not done a Beth Moore study since Believing God in the Spring of '06, so it. is. time! Check out her blog sometime. She is doing a roll call right now and calling all "siestas" to come and let themselves be counted! It is so cool to see all these women around the world learning and growing together through these studies.

7. Quiet: I know I was thankful for this last week, but I am savoring it even more this week as I am getting more used to the quiet and finding myself less disconcerted over it. I am learning to listen for my Savior's voice and long for Him to speak to me in the midst of the stillness in my home.

8. Resources: There is a parent coordinator at the elementary school my children attend. She and I had a fabulous 2-hour talk on Tuesday. I was the only mama who showed up for PASS (Parents Assuring Student Success), so I had her undivided attention. She was a wealth of information, both academic and community related. I left with several phone numbers to contact and a cookbook. Plus, she is a believer and also has fibromyalgia, so we have that in common as well. What a helpful time!

9. God's provision: He continues to carry us through a month that is usually quite tight financially. I am so grateful for soups and casseroles that stretch our grocery budget.

10. God's Word: Here is our new verse to memorize this month as a family:

"The righteous should choose his friends carefully,
For the way of the wicked leads them astray. " Proverbs 12:26 (NKJV)

I love hiding God's Word in our hearts together, because then we can encourage one another with what we've learned when situations call for a Scripture we've committed to memory.

Well, y'all know what to do now.

Let me know how God is filling your tank, either by leaving a comment here or by letting me know you've snatched the button and made your own list at your place. I'd be all too happy to jump on over and read your list. It fills my tank to overflowing to read of how He's blessing you too.

So, go on . . . and don't forget to have a thanks-filled day!

On His Adventure~


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  Pam fearlessly posted at 1/17/2008 08:53:00 AM  
  10 came and visited

Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Guess What We're Hoping For?
UPDATE: Well, I just got home a few minutes ago after taking all of my family to their respective schools. The snow turned to rain and school was NOT cancelled.

Sweetcheeks was highly offended that she'd gone to bed looking foolish and still had to go to school today. Oh well, better luck next time . . .

Thanks to my dear friend here, and her post about the luck of wearing your pajamas(pah jah mahs) inside out and its relation to having a snow day, we've got people sleeping oddly clad for the night. Couldn't hurt, could it?

I'll let you know how it works out . . .

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  Pam fearlessly posted at 1/16/2008 09:21:00 PM  
  3 came and visited

Works-for-Me Wednesday

I haven't done one of these in forever because I never feel like I have anything unique or creative to add to the already burgeoning list of participants.

Yet, today I had an "a-ha" moment with an "a-ha" use for something in my home.

Updated to help give a real visual:

I have one of these that just so happens to sit unused right now, in of all places, my whirlpool tub (which is also unused this time of year). Tony doesn't require a fit ball, so I put it into temporary retirement. Thus the use today.

I needed a place to air dry a sweater, but I don't have one of these anymore and any other place is in the way.

So, I am using my fit ball to dry my sweater, without creases and wrinkles, out of the way of busy family members that tend to leave delicates crushed in their wake.

That's my contribution today! For other crafty tips, head on over to Shannon's.

On His Adventure~

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  Pam fearlessly posted at 1/16/2008 02:20:00 PM  
  4 came and visited

Wordless Wednesday

When eating dirt is a good thing!

For other Wordless Wednesday photos, go here or here.

On His Adventure~


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  Pam fearlessly posted at 1/16/2008 10:11:00 AM  
  8 came and visited

Friday, January 11, 2008
Fearless Friday

photo credit -- The Beckwith Gallery

"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby. "
Ruth E. Renkel

"He reveals the deep things of darkness
and brings deep shadows into the light."
Job 12:22 (NIV)

I feel like I've been taken to a place of shadows for a time, in order that I may more clearly see the face of my Heavenly Father. Sometimes the light of easy and joyous times blinds me to the things God wants me to learn in the quiet shadows.

I pray for both of us today that God will meet us in the shadows and remind us of His light shining nearby. May the time in the shadows prepare us and refine us as we continue this daily walk "Without Fear."

Have a Blessed Weekend!

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  Pam fearlessly posted at 1/11/2008 09:26:00 AM  
  2 came and visited

Thursday, January 10, 2008
Thursday Thanks Tank #86

Good Morning!

Welcome to the first Thanks Tank of 2008!!

Considering the week I've had, this could be a long one, but I'll try to just hit the highlights. Here's how God is filling my tank this week:

1. Public School: For a variety of reasons we have chosen to send our children back into this environment, and so far I have seen God's hand at every juncture.

2. Christian Teachers: The school our children attend is full of them, and each one of my sweeties is blessed with one. How cool is that!

3. Excited Children: Though they have cried this week that they miss me, my children are excited about learning and filled with joy at all the new experiences they are facing each day.

4. Bus Service: I didn't think I'd be willing to send my children on the bus, but it is the last stop on the way to school and the first drop off at the end of the day -- making their time on the bus a mere 5 minutes or so.

5. Domestic Victories: After reading about Barb's success here, I decided to try to overcome 14 years of miserable chocolate chip cookie failure. DP's favorite is chocolate chip, and I can never make a decent one. No more!! Here are the results:

All cookies shown above have been pronounced terrific by the beloved in my household and JD Green even had to make a huge announcement when DP bit into his first delectable morsel,

"Dad, these are not store bought ones! She made these from scratch at our house!!" So, thank you, Barb, and thanks, too, to the Butler and the Butler's Wife whose recipe I used. Our family pays homage to you.

6. Quiet: I have not known what that is for a very long time, but I am thankful for the quiet moments that allow me to begin to choose how I want to spend/invest my time. I heard this song this morning on the way home from taking DP to work. I so needed to hear it for the reminder it shares to be quiet before the Lord.

7. Choir: How I love the heart of our worship pastor! The way he shepherds our choir is amazing, and I am so blessed to be part of this ministry. I went home last night having worshipped and full from the way God met me in the midst of it. Thanks, Josh!

8. Caller ID: I love the way I can choose whether I want to answer the phone or not. I do not avoid calls from friends, but I do choose not to pick up those calls from the innumerable telemarketers that dial my number. What a blessing and timesaver!

9. Exercise: Ah! The tinge of pain to confirm the fact that under the squishy is muscle . . . unused muscle, but muscle nonetheless. Tony worked me over yesterday, but it is refreshing to have a reminder of those muscles I've left dormant for months. I'm headed back to deal with him again today, after this post is finished. "Downward Dog", here I come!

10. Relief: The knowledge that I am exactly where God wants me right now is beginning to set my soul at rest. The anxiety will dissipate and the knot in my stomach will go away, and all that will be left is relief and peace only my Savior can provide.

So, I managed to condense the bounty of blessings into something readable and manageable in one sitting. Please, feel free to join in and let us all know how God is filling your tank!!

Leave a comment here or take the button and make your own list like these lovely ladies have.

Have a thanks-filled day!!

On His Adventure~


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  Pam fearlessly posted at 1/10/2008 07:48:00 AM  
  8 came and visited

Wednesday, January 9, 2008
A Date With Tony and the Holiday Run Down
Don't tell DP, but I have a date this morning.

We've not gotten together in a long time. Until now I've not really missed him, but Tony's voice has been echoing in my head lately.

I guess it's the whole "new year, new you" thing that permeates every advertisement and blog post you browse lately.

So, in a very few short minutes, after donning my extra supportive sports bra and other sweat-worthy exercise togs, I will be increasing my heart rate and facing the challenge that is Tony . . . including the bonus AB RIPPER 2oo . . .

If you hear my groaning from the comfort of your own home, please call 911 and send them to my neighborhood.

Before I head off into the land of the physically challenged, I thought I'd do a quick update of:

"What I did over my Christmas Vacation"

  • We spent this one sans extended family, so it was fairly quiet.
  • We watched tons of videos, thanks to a grandma who couldn't come to visit with a broken arm, but could send us things she'd recorded from Hallmark Channel (pass the tissues, please)
  • I made the most fabulous Christmas dinner ever, and I spent the entire day in my new candy cane jammies. I wholeheartedly recommend doing Christmas as a jammie day.
  • Then the crud set in, and we went through/used up/had to buy:

  • 6 boxes of Kleenex
  • 4 bags of Cough drops. We like these.
  • 1 space heater
  • 2 boxes of Mucinex
  • 1 box of Vapor Strips
  • Showers with this stuff
  • 2 visits with the Urgent Care clinic
  • 2 prescriptions
  • 4 bottles of cough syrup (you know it's bad when the kids start asking for this)
  • Multiple sprays with the Saline Solution
  • and all the patience the mama had to give.
Boy, am I glad to have the togetherness of the holidays over! It was fun, but with the onset of illness came a mental countdown for the mama of how many hours until the break was finished.

Speaking of finished, I think my stalling must be over. Tony is whispering my name.

I'll be crawling back later to let you know about my fantastic chocolate chip cookie success . . . I'm sure you'll be holding your breath.

Have a great day!

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  Pam fearlessly posted at 1/09/2008 09:13:00 AM  
  2 came and visited

Tuesday, January 8, 2008
God Winks. Yes, He Does

Thank you to all of you who encouraged me and my weepy self yesterday. I know God has plans and will reveal them to me in His timing.

Thank you, too, for reminding me that it is ok to take time for me and rest. You'll never know how much your affirmation and cheerleading of sorts has bolstered me and given me strength to do what I have felt is best for me.

Let me tell you about my "God Wink" from yesterday:

I was just surfing around the blogosphere, checking in on some of my favorite places via Google Reader, and I came to rest at My Quiet Corner, where momrn2 is one of my dearest blogging friends. We've often marveled at our likenesses and similarities, so much so that I have told her more than once that I could have written some of her posts myself.

Yesterday was one of those days, and while I was in the midst of writing a comment to let her know how much her post meant to me and how I felt like she'd crawled inside my head and heart -- the phone rang and she was on the other end!

This call was a "God Wink" in my day. He knew exactly what I needed and when I needed it. He delivered when I least expected it and I was happily overwhelmed by His goodness.

We had a wonderful chat about all kinds of things, and she affirmed me in a way that just resounded with all the other positive encouragement I've been receiving these past few weeks.

God has used so many avenues to bring home the same point in my life, and I am deeply moved and incredibly grateful for His tender compassion over me. He is surely all about letting me know this promise is abundantly true in my life:

"Yet I still dare to hope
when I remember this:

The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him!”

Lamentations 3:2-24 (NLT)

So, thank you, momrn2, and all the rest of you for letting God use you to be a balm to my heart and my soul. I knew He would use others to comfort me, but I didn't anticipate how.

He has great plans for all of us, and He can use you when you least expect it.

I still plan to do a quick recap of our last two weeks, but not today. I'm off to get some rest.

***By the way, DP is thrilled today after the trouncing Ohio State suffered at the hands of his beloved Tigers. I can't even call my dad for fear of hearing funeral dirge music blaring over the phone. He may not even get out of bed today.

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  Pam fearlessly posted at 1/08/2008 11:16:00 AM  
  5 came and visited

Monday, January 7, 2008
I'm Still Standing . . .
Ok. It is finally time. I've been mighty silent these past two weeks or so.

It is time to break the silence and let y'all know what's been going on in my little world.

I didn't wish anybody "Merry Christmas" or "Happy New Year".

{More on my holidays later in another post.}

I didn't really intend to stay away so long when I left. Yet circumstances necessitated the break.

Happy New Year Everyone!!

So, with the obligatory greetings out of the way, let's get right down to it.

I've been sitting in front of this screen for almost two hours, well, on and off between loads of laundry and other tasks that beckon me from my all-too-quiet home.

My mind is awhirl with all that has transpired in the last few weeks, and I am also quaking inside from the events of this morning alone.

I managed to put on a brave face for my darlings this morning, yet I was acutely aware of all my feelings as my face crumpled when I returned to the van alone to take DP to work this morning.

So many mixed emotions fill my little heart this day. Yet, I take comfort in the verse above, as well as the knowledge that my Heavenly Father is not surprised by the details of this day or any other I face while I am here on this earth.

So, what do I do next? For the first time since Libbyline joined me in our little apartment in Dallas, Texas, I am alone. After 12 + years, I am on my own for almost eight hours every weekday.

I drove home this morning after heading to the local tire place to get one fixed after a flat we got on the way to XL last night. I pulled into the driveway and thought, "I am by myself!?! For hours on end!! What do I do now?"

Now, the possibilities are endless. I think that is what has my mind whirling this morning. I can do tons of things, but yet part of me is so emotionally and physically exhausted from the past couple of years that I long to shove all the opportunities aside for a little bit and catch up on my rest.

Maybe that's ok for a little while.

As the days and weeks unfold, I will be sharing more of our journey and decision to end our homeschooling path. Know that we came to a peaceful realization that this was the right time for all five of us to embark on something new and fresh for the year.

Also, know that I will be sharing the ways God will be filling my time and my tank. I'm so sorry I missed out on a couple of weeks of Thanks Tanks, but I really felt a need to focus on my children wholeheartedly these past two weeks as I said "goodbye" to all we'd known as familiar to us. I have still been reading your blogs over the break and will make more of a concerted effort to comment in the coming days.

So, while I have stepped into a new "river" of sorts as I start this new journey with my family, I am comforted by the promise that "they will not sweep over [me]" Isaiah 43:2

I would truly appreciate your prayers as we make this transition as a family.

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  Pam fearlessly posted at 1/07/2008 11:36:00 AM  
  12 came and visited

About Me


I'm a lover of Jesus, lover of my DP (Darling Prince), and lover of my three blessings: Libbyline(12), Sweetcheeks(9), and John Deere Green(8). I am daily discovering the truth that "only perfect love casts out fear." Come along with me as I post my heart fearlessly.

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